Thursday, May 10, 2012

Happy Birthday Heidi, your man has cancer!

While riding in my bed to the operation room all kinds of panic went thorugh my mind. (I was also enjoying the ride for some reason, exiting!) You just can't help thinking that once you go to sleep, you might never wake up. The procedure is done by humans, and there are no perfect individuals among it's species. Once we got there I had to get up and move over to the operating table. Man this room looked like a space station! In no time at all they had pierced me all over with different cannulae and kept slapping EKG-stickers ALL over my body. Then I was offered THE gasmask. All I had time to say was "good luck" and -boom- I was out cold! During this time untold horrors were done to me and I sincerely hope all eveidence of this unnatural act will stay hidden forever.

The first memory I had was at approximately 12:30 (give or take a whole lot of minutes). Someone was poking me and asked me how I was doing and if I was in pain. My head was clear enough at that point to manage the question: "did you take the whole thing out". When I got a disappointing "no" to my question I quickly needed more drugs and in a jiff I was back to sleep. The next memory I have was about one hour later as they once again offered me more drugs, and of course I happily accepted. The next hour was a series of falling asleep and waking up and getting drugs until finally 14:30-ish they rolled me back into my room. The elderly gentleman who was occupying the bed next to mine had surgery right after me and came into the "wake-up room" right before I was rolled away. He was screaming and howling and kicking around like crazy calling for his mother repeatedly, I guess they overdosed him a bit with the drugs. (Later he told me he was totally "euphoric" while in there, I chose not to tell him he was screaming for his life..)


When I was back in my room I still had two cannulae attached and long tube sticking out of my side. The tube was apparently a drain to remove excess blood and pus and as long as my lungs weren't leaking air (which would have made the drain bubble) they promised to remove it the next morning. In my right arm I had the second bag of IV-fluid going. The second canula could now be removed and since it was right in my radial artery they had to put a pressure bandage on it. When looking around I had at least 8 needle holes in me, three big holes between my ribs (two of them stiched up) and my face and chest was covered in yellow stuff. (Probably Betadine?) But the important thing was I couldn't feel any of it! Drugs ahoy! =)


At this moment I can't remember when they told me about the cancer but at some point someone told me it's most likely lymphatic cancer, not lung cancer. While it was a relief I didn't have lung cancer, which is usually fatal, I wasn't too happy to know I still had cancer. For some reason I didn't react that badly to the news since I was kinda expecting the worst.. Still a bummer though. But at the same time I was told (I'm pretty sure the nurses kept me informed) that lymphoma is highly treatable by chemotherapy and needed no further surgery. So it was a lose-win situation. I took it quite well.

After 15:00 the relatives started dropping in, my dad and sisters all came at once and I got to deliver the news right away. They also kept calm. They brought me a pile of magazines to read but I couldn't move around enough for that yet. The worst part was when Heidi arrived and was not expecting any news at all, only to find out how the surgery went and I how I felt.. It's was sort of like: "Happy birthday honey, I have cancer". She did not take it well.. Worst b-day ever? That also made me feel a bit worse than I was earlier. =(


Anyway, the family left after a while and Heidi stayed for a few hours. I got a drug refill (shot) right as Heidi arrived so I was a bit groggy most of the visit. I guess we were discussing the upcoming wedding and if we would be able to have it and so on.. I don't remeber much of that evening. The surgeon was scheduled to visit the next morning to give me more information about the operation and lymphoma. After a total of 4 bags of IV-fluids they closed he canula for the night and I also started drinking fluids orally. Because of the drain tube and oxygen-flow-tube in my nose I was still hooked up to wall with two devices so I had to pee in a bottle. The rest of the evening I was watching icehockey and sleeping. This time sleeping wasn't too hard, got some additional pills before lights-out. ZZZzzzZZZ

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